I stopped loading the dishwasher to take this photo from my backyard, and immediately added outdoor tasks to my Sunday To Do list. I had to get outside and do something, anything, and I knew that once the sun set, I’d be overcome with guilt, if I didn’t get out and make the most of every second of this bright sunny fall day. Actually, I knew that I’d still feel the remorse as the sun dipped below the treeline across from my house. Another beautiful day, gone.
I’ve dealt with this all my life. Probably because I live in Michigan and clear sunny skies don’t happen all the time due to the low pressure in the region. Anxiety grips me on every nice day we have, I have this obsession with getting out, doing things, and soaking it up, as if this is the last nice day there will ever be.
Right now I have so much to do but the sun is shining bright on my hammock and I’m tempted just to be in the sunshine for a while, knowing that it’s late October and these days are definitely coming to an end for a while.
Does this happen to anyone else? It reminds me of Sunday Night Blues and that’s a whole other story in which I’m not alone. That could be a whole other blog post but I don’t want to give it any more focus than I already have to. Perhaps I’ll tackle ways to overcome this, it’s a weight that I’d really like to put down after all these years.
If I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know!
Kathleen … it’s hard to stop and smell the autumn when there are chores to be done. I hear you.
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I find really nice autumn days rare.. Most times it comes with cold and rain..
[…] long ago, I wrote about a gorgeous, sunny October Saturday in which my Fair Weather Anxiety, as I call it, was in full effect. I decided I’d find ways to alleviate if not fix the […]